Knowing yourself is a hallmark of people who are successful. This is not about imagining who you might be but really knowing your strengths and your vulnerabilities. Spending time really knowing yourself is important in life. Listening to others feedback. Sometimes I find that my clients do this step but their thinking involves a lot of negativity towards themselves, focussing on their failures in the past. Their life story becomes all about their failure. This is not helpful. Being in the present with an accepting self (much closer to the truth) with an eye to the future is where it is at. This helps us in our relationship with ourselves and in relationship with others in our lives. Not knowing ourselves leaves us open to projecting the parts of ourselves we don’t know and don’t own on to others making it difficult for us to be in relationships and do conflict well. It also means that we find it difficult to be in the next step of knowing ourselves and that is not staying there. Because Successful people know where they are today, they can also envision a future more ideal self that they can grow into. They can easily see the steps that they need to take and if you look at their activities, you can see how they are moving towards their ideal self.
Your identity should not be stagnate. You are invited to reform your identity to a better future self. For instance, I am terrible at technology. I know how to blog but that is about it. Recently, a beloved friend died and she knew so much that could be helpful to others but never learned the basic technology and so that knowledge died with her. I am learning from my friend in her death as I did in her life, to get myself more educated in technology. It is not easy. I spent an hour this morning trying to figure out how to do something as simple as record on my iPad and then transfer it to a closed facebook group I am running. It did not work but I have learned how to make videos and transfer them to the group. I am working on something every week and I will get there. I am living in my better self even though I am not perfect at it, in fact it is very difficult at times. How do you make changes in the area of moving towards a better self?
First, you need to have clarity about who you are. Make a list of the qualities, characteristics, strengths and vulnerabilities that you have. I will often use a mind map for this kind of an activity that helps me to free think. Once you have that…
Second,make another mind map or whatever works for you that will go down on paper of a concrete vision of your ideal self. Look at this ideal self in all the important areas of your life such as your intimate relationship, your family, your spiritual self, your work and your finances.
Third, Become intentional as to how you will begin being this person today and everyday. Write this down, review it daily. As an addition to keep your happiness alive while you are changing, Brendon Burchard likes to have his clients think of 3 inspirational words for their lives to keep their joy alive while they are living, loving, growing and changing. What might yours be? How will you keep that at the front and center of your life for the last 90 days of this year? Go forth and be Wonderful in your Life Today!