Living Fully in Relationships

Happy Valentines Day!

I really love the ritual of Valentine’s Day! I hope you will make the most of it yourself today! How is the romance in your couple relationship these days? Living fully means that the relationship area of your life is also at its fullest. After some years, some couples believe that it is natural to settle into a companionship kind of love. Although that is comforting, it can also lead to some discontent, as couples feel as if they are just roommates. They want more and wish that they had what they remember as the spark in their relationship. Well, it turns out that romantic love can endure. Bianca P. Acevedo etal did a study published in, Review of General Psychology. The team reviewed 25 studies with 6,070 individuals in short and long term relationships. They found that romantic love can endure and is associated with greater happiness and higher self esteem. And I say that it adds fun and color and the possibility of the novelty we need in life and a wonderful spark to life period, never mind just long term relationships. Acevedo said, “Couples should strive for love with all the trimmings, and couples who’ve been together a long time and wish to get back their romantic edge should know it is an attainable goal that, like most good thing in life, requires energy and devotion.”. How great is that! For those of you who say, that is not me, just know this is not about genetics or personality. It is about skill and mindset. If you want more in your relationship (and who wouldn’t?) then take more romance in your relationship as a personal challenge. The benefits are big. Your partner may have been hinting along these lines or maybe you have started a date night and failed to keep it up for any number of reasons. But as Acevedo has said, “it is an attainable goal… [that] requires energy and devotion,”. So how to do this? First have a conversation together, or if it is a sensitive topic in your relationship, you be the person to begin by putting your date nights in your calendar (in ink). In an optimal world, you would take turns in making date nights happen. It has benefits for both of you to do this. And then how do I do it? You may have some great ideas – go for it. Just make sure when it is your turn that you are considering what your partner feels is romantic. If you don’t have ideas or feel as if you could use a few more ideas to spark your creativity, I am giving you a valentine gift that will do just that. It is entitled, Romance Refresher and is on this web site. If you really feel lost, or you are the type that aims high in life, I do have a course on romance that goes in depth for you to make deeper connections with your partner. You can contact me for more information. Go forth and strive for love with all the trimmings!

Author: Lynda Chalmers